Pregnant By My Mother's Rapist by Jilvontae Niki

Author:Jilvontae, Niki [Jilvontae, Niki]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: True Glory publications
Published: 2017-03-06T05:00:00+00:00

I walked over to my bed and sat down, numb and emotionally broken as my tears slowly began to disappear. I could feel rage and an untamed hate growing in my stomach as I remembered Spicy’s words.

“I don’t owe her shit. FUCK HER FEELINGS RIGHT NOW!” Played over and over in my mind and fueled the anger that brewed within me.

I could see the hate and flicker of jealousy that was always in her eyes when she looked at me as I sat there and fumed.

“NAW, FUCK YOU SPICY. FUCK THIS HOUSE. FUCK ALL OF THIS SHIT!” I suddenly yelled so filled with hate and hurt that I had burst.

I got up and stormed over to my closet before I quickly filled a bag and slipped my tennis shoes on. As soon as I had my bag on my shoulder and my purse and phone in hand, KJ bust into my room with tears in his eyes and told me how sorry he was but forbad me from leaving.

“Oh Na Na, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry about all of this big sis. I’m sorry I wasn’t here when the shit went down with mama and Jug, and I’m sorry I set this shit up with Spicy. I know you heard us in the hall and I’m sorry about what she said out there too sis. I know you don’t wanna hear this shit right now but sis, Spicy hurting too.” KJ said as I gasped and looked up at him with astonishment on my face.

I couldn’t believe he was taking up for her when she had made my life hell. He didn’t know how it felt because she treated her precious boys like gems compared to me. Still, I didn’t dwell on that and grew up virtually alone and strong nonetheless. I did all of that without taking my anger out on him or my other brothers, but rather taking care of them when Spicy dropped the ball. Yet he stood his big lanky ass up there in front of me and took up for her. That shit hurt me to the bone, so much so I couldn’t even say anything. I just tried to walk past KJ out of the door with my shit in hand as he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back.

“No, Na Na, please don’t go. I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant Spicy went through something that hurt her deeply and now her hurt has turned to hate. I’m not saying none of the low down shit she does is right. I’m just saying it comes from somewhere sis. I’m trying to understand her more and as I do I find out a little more and more about myself. That’s why I pushed you so hard to talk because I feel like you need that more than I do. I see a lot of her in you Na Na. I see your hurt slowly turning into hate and I don’t want you to end up like her.

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